let me start by calling a spade a spade.

For the last few years, (okay, make that decades) I’d sort of morphed into a (somewhat) moody and volatile person. The pleasant, calm and joyful woman I had hoped to be had become was GONE. Everything wound me up, set me off and no matter how hard I tried to deal with the intense stress I was experiencing, nothing lasted brought much relief. I felt as if much of my day was spent in pure frustration having to deal with the absolute divs that inhabit the earth. It became a dismal cycle of annoyance and frustration and I couldn’t get off. I had unsuccessfully tried so hard to start my day positively only to have all of my good intentions shattered by some irritant within seconds. BOOM ! Someone looked at me the wrong way … someone didn’t look at me … the elevator is too slow … the elevator smells … the car won’t start … on and on and on it would go.

Sound familiar?

‘Tightly wound much’ you may ask ?

‘To say the least’ would be my response !

Fortunately I ended up finding a remedy … Inyengar Yoga.

I do believe its a personality trait found in many, to be so hard on oneself and others, to find fault in everything. This, by no means is an excuse but a starting point to understanding myself and the methods I had tried to help regulate my mad, crazy world. Now I know that those learned methods or habits can be reversed and re-programmed. Being so stressed creates a cycle of fatigue that can very easily become energy and joy sapping and down-right depressing.

I’m unsure whether its the controlled breathing practiced when in class, whether its the stretching of fascia and muscles which releases tension and stress giving the body more oxygen or whether its the endorphin’s being released that give a much needed serotonin boost, whether its the twisting of the organs aiding the body to detox. Perhaps it’s the encouraging tone of the instructor that eases the spirit, the laughter when hearing others suffering, grunting and groaning their way through class, the sweat that simply builds when holding a pose or just the fleeting sense of peace that comes for the length of the session, that has made the big difference in mood and lifestyle.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s flow model showing the mental state in terms of challenge level and skill level. Indicates that pushing through control and worry one can achieve arousal, (healthy) anxiety and flow.

Whatever the answer is for causing this change, I’ll take it and hold it with both hands:

  • I’m thankful I have found something that actually works.
  • I’m thankful that during the day when I feel I’m about to explode I have yoga and breathing exercises to practise that can calm me.
  • I’m thankful that the inner calm I have experienced during yoga and meditation has started to nestle into my personality more.
  • I’m thankful I have finally found a positive outlet for my frustrations, one that doesn’t involve cigarettes, eating sugar or popping pills at the end of the day to relieve and calm the nerves … YAY  … Yoga On !


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